are you still at the devil's house?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
false alarm, still single
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