It's just like the Real World with babies
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
