His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
