is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
