whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
