how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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