New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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