i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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