): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.