he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm