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Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
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