I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.