windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
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At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.