I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.