): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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