I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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