she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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