oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
