So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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