I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
