i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
