Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize