D3 body, D1 cock
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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