And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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