accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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