They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
