Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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