it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
