nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
