I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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