I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
