Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
