I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
