im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
