dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize