doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
