They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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