who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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