We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
