Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
