It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
