if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
