What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize