Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
