Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I die, sorry about rent.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
