my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
