so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Randomize
