Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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