just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
