You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
honey bunches of taint.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
