And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
