The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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