let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
sex in a hospital.. check
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
