He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
COCAINE IS GR8
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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