He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
