That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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