apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
