when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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