I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
