You made me cry and you don't even care
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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