I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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