How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
